amina

2011-01-25T17:56:00.001-07:00

bad days

2011-01-25T16:46:00.000-07:00

always need a good motivator....
you know its a bad day when you cant get out of bed in the am, cry during pilates because "its hard", something as little as someone flaking makes you cry, and you wont walk to the bus stop because your too tired and hungry.....

i must say this made it much better, even though i could be pushed to tears by anything still, all because of my perception.

"Today I have to pound the nail that Genaro put in, the fact that we are luminous beings. We are perceivers. We are an awareness; we are not objects; we have no solidity. We are boundless. The world of objects and solidity is a way of making our passage on earth convenient. It is only a description that was created to help us. We, or rather our reason, forget that the description is only a description and thus we entrap the totality of ourselves in a vicious circle from which we rarely emerge in our lifetime."
Carlos Castaneda,
Tales of Power
Don Juan Matus to Carlos Castaneda

frozen

2011-01-17T21:31:00.000-07:00

f-r-o-zen
in space, my stream just cant seem to trickle.
the reflection causing so much color.
i feel the vibration of the earth underneath.
as it starts to rumble and wake....
earthquakes, tsunamis, volcanoes are felt, all over the earth.
yet still is my pool, my water does not quake.
frozen in space, i can not move, or so you seem to think.
slowly i creep, inch by inchh, making my way.
i dont strain myself, i take it slow.
i wait for the sun, to feel its heat.
my flow starts faster,
clouds again, how my suface is purple.
so soon i will be full of color.

spirit hood giveaway

2010-09-27T17:51:00.000-06:00

these amazing faux fur hats, where some of the proceeds go to organizations to help wild animals are beautiful and full of energy and love.
enter to win, or just go support your favorit animals. :D
to enter the contest go to http://vintagemavens.blogspot.com/2010/09/september-giveaway-spirit-hoods.html

just to check out spirit hoods go to their facebook @ http://www.facebook.com/pages/Spirit-Hoods/418957405590?v=photos&ref=ts

or their website at: spirithoods.com

feel like love of your inner spirit animal. <3

flying time and space

2010-03-29T18:46:00.000-06:00

i just feel like my days pass by so fast,

i dont ever get EVERYTHING accomplished.

oh well.

at least i try.

so saturday.

festivals of color

can you say amazing. :D

so much love

and beauty.

people throwing colors at each other.

celebrating the beauty and color of spring.

welcoming back the dormant life

seriously one of the most enjoyable days of my life.

good times.

if anyone has the chance to go, they should.

TODAY!

i officially got a job.

yippie.

i start thursday.

what a huge relief.

its time to work hard, so i can have an enjoyable summer.

i'm taking 8 credit hours this summer.

should be good.

taking some good classes.

Organic Gardening.

human sexuality

and

environment & behavior.

all should be rather interesting.

today has been a good day.

busy, lots of school work.

but good.

this month is about to fly by.

good luck to everyone

and see you on the other side.

may 5th, is my last final.

cinco de mayo:

that means celebration time.

remember love is all we have/need.

so show your love

do be afraid of emotion.

expression is good, so.....

draw, write, sing, COMMUNICATE!

LOVE

what an eventful day.

2010-03-24T18:41:00.000-06:00

today....

wow today...

what a day.

tooke the cats to the vet. i guess my sweet little kitty houdeni is

half siamese. that is why he is sooo long, and has such a long tail.

the vet said that black half siamese are very smart.

they have all the good qualities of siamese.

and have a spunkiness to them that is very fun.

this is alll soo true about my sweet little guy.

i'm so excited to know more about him.

but unfortunatly it was a rough visit for him.

he had ear mites eating away at his flesh.

so his ears had to be flushed out

several times.

and he had to get a shot to make his flesh poisious to the mites.

he has get another shot in 10 days.

but at least he wont have those nasty bugs eating his flesh anymore.

and his ears wont smell.

as for now his ears are very raw and they hurt.

he is just sleeping.

not as spunky but he wont give up his sideways hop and chasing his little paper toy around.

even if he isnt feeling his best

me.

i finally told my mom my right knee was still hurting.

september 2008,

the unknown falling down the stairs.

now if you have seen the scar on my knee,

or if i was around when it was severly hurt.

you knowwwwww how bad it was.

geeze, the thing took 4 months to scab enough to bend my knee.

well recently due to running at the gym,

my knee afterwards swells.

even walking on it all day,

made it ache with pain.

sending pain down to my calf

behind the knee (knee pit) was hurting every day.

even just from standing on it for about 45+ minutes.

today i got my first MRI for it...

uhhh, yeah not that fun.

i went in the machine up to my elbow.

and i couldnt move at all for 35 minutes. (thats how long i was in the machine)

the whole process took one hour.

friday my doctor will call and let me know what it said. oh gee,

this will be fun to see the actual damage that i did to me knee

a whole year and a half (+ some months) later.

fun stuff.

so gluten free dieets are hard.

you cant even eat BROWNIES!

horrible.

i am going to do it.

either way its good to try.

i wasnt going to try, cause i pretty much cant eat anything good.

no more bread and humus. (this one might just kill me)

but if it takes the mood swings, stomache, and headache's away then i think it will be good.

my mom's good friend had the same subtle symptoms as me, and it also took away her acne.

i guess perks are worth giving things up.

color

is what i love.

change is always happening

2010-03-22T18:25:00.001-06:00

today i went to the doctor.
now i only go to one doctor because she listens and try's to help the patient
not what is going to get her the most money.
she is the one after all these years discovered that my mom had nothing else but lime's disease
masquerading as chronic fatigue and fiber milaga along with all her other bizarre symptoms.
so since i have a whole lot of bizarre symptoms i decided to give her a shot in December(mind you that i had given up on doctors cause they had no idea what was wrong with me, my test made me appear to be completely healthy, actually healthiest for my age they had ever seen, to quote many doctors)
in December we discovered i had a thyroid problem almost exactly like my mom,
they can be genetic as well as severe virus can disrupt them, causing them to become irregular. which in my case both probably caused it.
well today we were talking about how my stomach issues, plus headaches, plus moodiness, plus everything else which are all very strange symptoms, barely correlate
along with my milk allergy she all of a sudden said, i think its a parasite or your gluten sensitive.
meaning allergic to gluten (since it is a human modification to be able to process gluten)

can you talk about a change that will make.
rice will pretty much be the only thing i can eat.
no bread.
crackers.
couscous....etc.
i will have to check every label on everything i buy, because many things contain gluten.
even "corn" chips are mixed with wheat or whey which contain gluten.
no more spicy chips.
now the test is very expensive a good 200 bones.
so i am cutting gluten out for 2 weeks to see if there is a difference.
this requires me to also give up the milk, which i have been allergic to for 21 years but, i have refused to give up cheese, ice cream and yogurt.

can you blame me?
so here goes after 21 years of eating habits i am about to make a HUGE change.

hopefully it will be the problem, and it will just be a lifestyle/diet change to fix how shitty i feel.
because... I'll just admit it, i have a problem with prescription drugs.
i HATE them.
unless they are truly necessary i hate to take them, and i don't want to spend my life on them. although i already have to with my thyroid.

well there is my change for the day.
i have had many others but this one is making the greatest impact.

back to the homework. almost have one assignment done 6 more to go after that.
including 2 papers,
and article summary
and a bunch of assignments for urban environmental geography (which i'm counting as 2).
yippee for life.
which, i am feeling much better about.

and thank you sun for being my best friend

life

2010-03-22T13:30:00.000-06:00

is great,
teaching a new life is an amazing thing.
and i truely am so happy for my friends who have the opportunity to do this.
although this world is very populated.
it just sucks.
that most of my close friends have children
and once they do, i'm pretty much cut out of their life cause i dont have any.
doesnt mean i dont want to spend time with them.
seriously only one of these friends hasnt done this to me.
it really just hurts my feelings that i can be so close with people up until the bouncing joy comes into their life.
then once it does its like oh, you dont have kids cant be your 'close friend'
just pretty much kind friends.
because i cant relate to having kids? does that honestly mean that we have nothing else to relate about to keep us friends.
i guess its a whole new life, and i can just move on and enjoy my other friends.
its just hard to be the one cut out when i feel like there is no reason for it.

i'm sure i will have a happier blog later today.
i'm just feeling very frustrated with this, like ALL THE TIME!
plus stressed about all this homework.
going to the doctor in 2 hours.
maybe we will get somewhere this time.
so i wont feel so shitty anymore.
i guess i just miss having a best friend to talk to instead of keeping everything inside.
bottled up.

not everything is what it seems.
but as well all know
"we are all mad here"

sunday

2010-03-21T13:59:00.000-06:00

stomach aches.

they are never fun.

but lately i have had one everyday for the past year.

i keep telling the doctor that i think it is from indonesia, since it started after our ten hour layover in hong kong.

They keep telling me i have nothing.

since they know my body and all,

and they reside everyday in it.

doctors are so frustrating.

but it is a beautiful day outside

i cant wait tell my brothers are home so we can go for a bike ride.

this google earth homework is so hard

ok, not hard just time consuming and annoying.

one page down 60 more to go.

yippie!

homework for spring break.

nice way to welcome spring.

school.

one year left and i can actually start living.

not just spend my days at school and the rest of my time doing school work.

although i do love learning just not spending all of my time doing book learning.

experience learning is important too.

learning.

everything is learning,

time is not yesterday.

time is now.

if now is always now

what is time?

infinte

2010-03-20T09:28:00.000-06:00

is change.

i am always changing.

i cant say anything about me is the same from day to day.

constantly learning...

building upon who i am.

i am the earth...dynamic and ever changing.

who am i?

who am i not? i am everything.

i am the clouds, i am the air i breath, i am the dirt and rocks, i am the trees, i am the animals

i am you as you are i.

i am not better, i am not worse.

we are. that is it.

it is that simple.

2009-09-22T20:09:00.000-06:00

I like it hot and spicy

with a little bit of zest.
personality is a color scheme.
let the colors flow,
painting your canvas
your the earth again before you know it
use your time wisley...

life in the fast lane.

2009-05-12T20:47:00.000-06:00

restrictions that hold us back.

they are only an illusion.

anything is possible.

yes i know you've heard this before.

reach inside your

mind.

and you will find.

that everything you

need

is at your fingertips.

alll you need is love.

what a beautiful day it has been,

i didnt do so well on my math final, which really got me down.

it left me with a c out of pre.calc.

but my mom made me realize that i am amazing at so many other things, who cares if i'm not that good at math.

then i went on an amazing bike ride with my brothers.

i love it, i am looking outside and the sun set is beautiful.

this place is so beautiful. it has so much to do adn offer.

i just wish the people here in gardnerville/minden nevada were nicer.

it would make this place so lovely to live.

life is such an adventure.

i love living every moment of it.

life&love

2009-04-29T22:18:00.001-06:00

finals week is coming up so fast, and we are entering spring.

spring love is in the air, the mountains are beautiful, the air is crisp(minus the nasty pollution)

and we are all in for a big suprise this summer.

i am loving everything around me.

even the bad things, today has been a weird day,

i have cried, i have laughed, i have been furious,i have been ecstatic, i have been stressed, i have been sympathetic, i have been apologetic.

and i have loved every second of all these emotions.

that is the best thing about spring for me.

is the love.

love for everything.

even the stress of finals i am loving.

its "the sweetest thing"

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAMI!

my little brother turned 18 today.

he is growing up

and is going to be a great man.

i am so excited to watch him grow into something amazing.

what an amazing life we all can have.

we just need to live our life to the fullest

love everything, and realize everything is love.

if you didnt love you wouldnt feel

you wouldnt have other emotions.

it all boils down to love.

so if you love, do something.

take control.

be the best you can be.

dont let the things that our life tells us we need, and you dont have get you down.

you dont need them

if you are aware of the love.

so love, be loved, share your love

and be the happiest you can be.

"life's a climb, but the view is great"

-hannah montana movie